Asian Parents vs. American Parents: A Rant from Someone Who's Seen Both Sides and Survived
By Bryan Lai
First, I want to clarify that this is not targeted toward anyone. Everything in this speech is written for comedic effect, not to make fun of anyone. Let me start by saying this: I love my parents, deeply. They contributed to me. They fed me. They paid for my braces even though I still chew like a raccoon. But man… if you’ve ever met an Asian parent and an American parent in the same room, you know they’re not all playing the same parenting game.
One side is raising kids.
And the other is raising future CEOs who also play Mozart blindfolded.
So let’s break this down — not for science, but for the trauma bonding.
1. Names: Chill Vs. Zihan?
American parents name their kids like they’re launching a luxury candle line—River, Sage, Dakota-Rain. It’s giving a “gentle breeze through a yoga studio” vibe.
Asian parents, on the other hand, are playing 4D chess with the zodiac calendar, family lineage, and ancient proverbs. You don’t get to be Skylar. You get to be Zihan, which could mean “purple intelligence cloud,” because your parents are already trying to get your résumé Harvard-ready before you’re even born.
It’s not just a name. It’s a destiny.
2. Praise? What Praise?
American parents will throw a full parade if you draw a stick figure.
“OMG, sweetie, this is amazing! You’re an amazing artist!”
Meanwhile, Asian parents will look at a 99/100 and say,
“Where did the other one point go?”
It’s not that they’re not proud—they just show it differently. You ever get a “good job” from an Asian parent? That’s basically an emotional Grammy. You’ll remember it forever. You’ll frame it.
3. Chores: Negotiation vs. No Chores, Academics
American kids: “Can I get $20 for cleaning the pool?”
American parents: “You bet! Here’s $50 and some cookies.”
Asian kids: “Can I get $20 for cleaning the pool?”
Asian parents: “Hmmm… Nah. I’d rather you spent your time on Math and Piano. ”
Asian households aren’t about allowances: they just straight up don’t have allowances. They’re not trying to make you feel bad, they just want you to spend more time studying Academics so you can have a “Better Future”
4. School: A Journey vs. A Mission
American parents: “Let them explore. School is about discovery.”
Asian parents: “When you apply for college, you compete against other ASIAN kids. SO study hard and you can get in. Life is a contest, so work hard.”
It’s not about pressure—it’s about potential. They just want you to reach the best version of yourself. And sometimes that means turning a “B” into “better.”
5. Emotional Support: Warm Hugs vs. Warm Tea
American parent: “You seem sad. Want to talk?”
Asian parent: “You seem sad. Want hot water?”
They’re not dismissing your feelings—they’re just wired differently. While one parent might hand you tissues, the other hands you a hard-boiled egg and a reminder that the body and soul are connected.
And hey, sometimes they’re right. Maybe you are just hungry.
6. Career Advice: Passion vs. Practicality
American parents: “Follow your dreams.”
Asian parents: “I know you practiced piano very hard for the past 9 years, but this is a really hard career path, so think about medical school instead of being a pianist.”
It’s not that they don’t want you to be happy—they just want you to be happy and financially stable. To them, passion is great, but it’s even better with a 401(k).
Final Thoughts: Love, Just Delivered Differently
Here’s the truth: both American and Asian parents love their kids deeply. They just have very, very different ways of showing it.
American parenting is like a warm hug and a juice box.
Asian parenting is like a grueling exercise with candy at the end.
But somehow, both sides raise kids who grow up weird, lovable, and slightly unhinged — and who end up joking about it on the internet because therapy is expensive.
So shoutout to all the moms and dads out there — whether you packed us lunch or packed our schedule with twelve years of violin — we see you, we thank you… and yes, we’re still slightly afraid of you.